Once upon a time

Its days like this that make me realize how wonderful it is to be a mom. Daddy asked me today what I liked about being a mother. Since today is mother's day I think it was a good question. I love having this amazing bond with the two of you. I love that when I was pregnant with you I could feel you wiggle and move. The best part is knowing that I am the mommy hero. Tonight, when I read a book to Emma about there is no such thing as monsters, I realized it might have been a little to scary. I get to show my brave side. Mommy's don't get to be afraid of the dark. Mommy gets to be the protector. So when the book was done and I said goodnight. I got to reassure Emma that there are no monsters in the closet, clothes hamper, or under the bed. It makes mommy feel good to be the strong one. I love you both so much. Sweet dreams my girls.

Why?

I am the age right now that my sister was when she was in a car accident that took her life. Like her I am married with two small children. I think about her lots, but see the potential to leave something behind for my daughters in case... well just in case. Like my sister, Denise, I am healthy and 29 years old. She didn't know she wasn't going to be there the next day. No one knew. This is where I break away from the path. I still want to be like her, just prepare for what might not happen. My coworker says I am a prepper. That's fine, better to be safe than sorry. My girls, Emma (3) and Ellie (11 months), are my world. I love being a mom. I think it changes you in so many ways. I have those moments of wanting to return to pre parenthood days. Who doesn't, but I am still committed to waking up everyday and showing them how much I love them. This is for them. Even if I am 100 years old when I go they will always have this place to come and see mommy loves you.